Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
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i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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