So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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