i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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