Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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