Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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