spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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