The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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