The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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