It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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