What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
