thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ugly people sure do ruin things
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
