now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
