Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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