what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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