the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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