just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
