At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
