Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
