who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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