Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
