this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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