He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
