Small penises have feelings too.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
