The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
