sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Operation Purity has been aborted
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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