Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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