I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Vodka?
Forever.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
