so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
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Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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