Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
