I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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