we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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