that's an acceptable place to lick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
