Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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