ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We’re leaving where are you
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