I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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