i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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