I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
