so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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