the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
