I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
