it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
4 words: hood of his car
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
