But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize