Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
