hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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