Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he thought i was a dude.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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