As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
