And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
