Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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