Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You don't make any sense
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