I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
