Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
