So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
be right there i have to get my cape
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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