yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
