Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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