I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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