If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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