So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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