Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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