So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
