that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
