OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
