My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
