i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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