dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
